Alternative Facts

If you thought you heard something break today you probably did. It was reality shattering. Today will be the day in history when alternative facts were invented.  From now on everyone will be honest.  There will be no lying since we now have alternative facts.  With this invention alone Donald Trump has made America great again. Now we can say we are number one in everything.  When challenged all we need to do is explain we are using alternative facts.  Alternative facts were used to get The Donald elected.  Think how many people we be kept out of jail now that we have alternative facts.  Lawyers can now defend bank robbers with alternative facts.  “Yes your honor he was in the bank with a gun, but the alternative facts show he was making a large unauthorized withdrawal, and had no intention of robbing the bank”. The use of alternative facts will solve so many problems in society.  The deficit can be wiped out with alternative facts.  Wars can be started and stopped with alternative facts. This Republican invention will completely change history.  There will no longer be any history, because of Alternative facts.